"I have new shoes, they are blue and fast.
When I wear them, I can fly like a goddamned reindeer."
In loving memory of Turple


Familyless

I was recently contemplating what my life would be like without my wife and our two kids. Here's what I came up with:

"Hey sweets I'm home. Sweets? Family? Oh my fucking god, they're gone. They're fucking gone. I'll never see them again."

"I need a fucking drink. Oh my fuck, we're out of beer, we're out of booze, there is no we, I'm out of booze."

After that I can only assume I'd begin frequenting an endless series of establishments in a painful odyssey ending only when my liver, out of sheer exhaustion, crawls out of my body to find a simple death.

I should really be working for Hallmark with this material. This could be an above average anniversary card.



Comments

Please tell Gerry that I would like him to show me his lizard.

Vic (Hill) Clarke

Posted by Vic, September 24, 2005

Hola! I've been following your blog for some time now and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Humble Texas! Just wanted to mention keep up the excellent work!

Posted by Ileana Schwertfager, December 23, 2011

I like this weblog its a master peace ! Glad I noticed this on google. "Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door." by Dr. Laura Schlessinger.

Posted by private jet charter, January 19, 2012

I've been surfing on-line greater than three hours today, yet I by no means discovered any attention-grabbing article like yours. It is beautiful value enough for me. Personally, if all site owners and bloggers made excellent content as you did, the web can be much more useful than ever before. "I finally realized that being grateful to my body was key to giving more love to myself." by Oprah Winfrey.

Posted by Motorcycle Helmet, January 20, 2012

I gotta bookmark this site it seems extremely helpful very beneficial

Posted by Delaware landscaping companies, January 21, 2012

I think you have noted some very interesting details , appreciate it for the post.

Posted by tree removal Delaware, January 22, 2012

I was reading through some of your content on this internet site and I think this web site is rattling instructive! Keep posting .

Posted by tree removal Delaware, January 22, 2012

you are in point of fact a excellent webmaster. The site loading speed is amazing. It seems that you're doing any distinctive trick. Also, The contents are masterpiece. you have done a magnificent task on this topic!

Posted by car accident lawyer philidelphia, January 23, 2012

fantastic points altogether, you just received a new reader. What may you suggest about your submit that you just made some days ago? Any sure?

Posted by patio, January 24, 2012

Generally I do not learn article on blogs, however I wish to say that this write-up very pressured me to take a look at and do so! Your writing taste has been surprised me. Thanks, very great post.

Posted by philadelphia landscapers, January 24, 2012

As soon as I observed this website I went on reddit to share some of the love with them. "The result justifies the deed." by Ovid.

Posted by MILTON REAL ESTATE, January 25, 2012

I dugg some of you post as I thought they were very useful invaluable

Posted by private jet charter, January 26, 2012

I truly enjoy looking at on this web site , it has got great content . "Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind." by Rudyard Kipling.

Posted by Private Jet Charter, January 26, 2012

Excellent read, I just passed this onto a friend who was doing a little research on that. And he just bought me lunch because I found it for him smile So let me rephrase that: Thanks for lunch! "There are places and moments in which one is so completely alone that one sees the world entire." by Jules Renard.

Posted by Limo Rental Philadelphia, January 27, 2012

Very interesting information!Perfect just what I was looking for!

Posted by Prom Limo Service, January 27, 2012

You can definitely see your skills within the paintings you write. The arena hopes for more passionate writers like you who are not afraid to mention how they believe. At all times go after your heart. "A simple fact that is hard to learn is that the time to save money is when you have some." by Joe Moore.

Posted by philadelphia photographers, January 27, 2012

As soon as I noticed this internet site I went on reddit to share some of the love with them.

Posted by web design Wilmington de, January 27, 2012

wonderful points altogether, you just won a emblem new reader. What would you recommend about your submit that you simply made a few days ago? Any certain?

Posted by 55 communities in Delaware, January 28, 2012

Outstanding post, I believe blog owners should larn a lot from this web site its very user genial . "Choose your pleasures for yourself, and do not let them be imposed upon you." by Lord Chesterfield.

Posted by delaware beach rentals oceanfront, January 28, 2012

You have remarked very interesting details! ps nice site.

Posted by Andre Daub, January 29, 2012

I like what you guys are up also. Such clever work and reporting! Keep up the superb works guys I've incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it'll improve the value of my site :).

Posted by Philadelphia web design, January 29, 2012

I do consider all of the concepts you've presented in your post. They're very convincing and can definitely work. Nonetheless, the posts are too short for starters. May just you please lengthen them a bit from subsequent time? Thanks for the post.

Posted by adult Communities in Delaware, January 30, 2012

Very interesting information!Perfect just what I was looking for!

Posted by Personal Injury Lawyer Philadelphia, January 31, 2012

Hiya, I'm really glad I have found this information. Today bloggers publish only about gossips and web and this is really annoying. A good website with interesting content, this is what I need. Thank you for keeping this web site, I will be visiting it. Do you do newsletters? Can't find it.

Posted by Active Adult Communities Delaware, January 31, 2012

Keep up the excellent piece of work, I read few articles on this site and I conceive that your web site is rattling interesting and holds bands of fantastic info .

Posted by Newark Delaware realtor, February 02, 2012

Greetings from California! I'm bored to death at work so I decided to check out your website on my iphone during lunch break. I really like the knowledge you present here and can't wait to take a look when I get home. I'm surprised at how fast your blog loaded on my phone .. I'm not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyways, amazing blog!

Posted by Staubsauger Test, February 03, 2012


Mouth Off:










Remember personal info?