"I have new shoes, they are blue and fast.
When I wear them, I can fly like a goddamned reindeer."
In loving memory of Turple


Panhandling

"Great News From Your Alma Mater"

Those were the words on the envelope, italized to incite me to action. Once I figured out who this Alma Mater chick was my excitement dropped to it's knees and moped around with the brown lettuce. I had an idea what this great news was all about.

Can anyone explain to me how it is that an institution of 'higher learning' can be so intellectually dull?

"Hi, I'm calling from the University of Guelph how are you doing today?"

"I'm okay?"

"Great, we have some exciting projects going on here, can you give us your money?"

"What money? Do you have my record open in front of you?"

"Yes."

"And what does it say there in reference to the remaining balance on my student loans?"

"We don't have that information."

"Well I'd be quite happy to share that with you, I still owe a bank $7,000 for the last time I got all shit-faced and woke up in university. Would you mind adding a note to my record clearly stating that I won't be able to donate any money to you until I'm debt free, which by my calculations should nicely coincide with my hundred and eighty fifth birthday."

"Thanks for your time."

"Not a problem."



Comments

First of all I want to say superb blog! I had a quick question which I'd like to ask if you don't mind. I was interested to find out how you center yourself and clear your mind prior to writing. I have had difficulty clearing my thoughts in getting my ideas out. I do take pleasure in writing but it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are generally wasted just trying to figure out how to begin. Any suggestions or hints? Kudos!

Posted by Edie Fiebelkorn, December 23, 2011

Good web site! I truly love how it is easy on my eyes and the data are well written. I am wondering how I could be notified when a new post has been made. I have subscribed to your RSS feed which must do the trick! Have a great day! "A crime which is the crime of many none avenge." by Lucan.

Posted by private jet charter, January 19, 2012

Regards for helping out, superb information.

Posted by Motorcycle Helmets , January 20, 2012

I like what you guys are up also. Such smart work and reporting! Carry on the excellent works guys I've incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it will improve the value of my web site :).

Posted by topsoil, January 21, 2012

Only a smiling visitor here to share the love (:, btw outstanding style . "Forget regret, or life is yours to miss." by Jonathan Larson.

Posted by tree service Wilmington de, January 22, 2012

I do consider all of the ideas you have presented for your post. They are very convincing and can certainly work. Still, the posts are too short for beginners. May you please extend them a bit from next time? Thank you for the post.

Posted by tree service Delaware, January 22, 2012

I dugg some of you post as I thought they were extremely helpful extremely helpful

Posted by car accident lawyer philadelphia, January 23, 2012

I'll immediately grasp your rss feed as I can't in finding your e-mail subscription hyperlink or newsletter service. Do you have any? Kindly permit me recognise so that I may subscribe. Thanks.

Posted by wood deck sealer , January 24, 2012

Very interesting points you have noted , thankyou for posting . "Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will." by Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi.

Posted by landscapers philadelphia, January 24, 2012

Great – I should definitely pronounce, impressed with your site. I had no trouble navigating through all the tabs as well as related info ended up being truly simple to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it at all. Reasonably unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or something, site theme . a tones way for your client to communicate. Excellent task.

Posted by Real estate MILTON DE, January 25, 2012

What i don't understood is if truth be told how you are now not actually a lot more neatly-liked than you may be right now. You're very intelligent. You know thus considerably in the case of this subject, produced me personally consider it from a lot of numerous angles. Its like men and women aren't fascinated except it is something to accomplish with Lady gaga! Your personal stuffs excellent. At all times care for it up!

Posted by private jet charter, January 26, 2012

fantastic issues altogether, you just gained a new reader. What may you recommend in regards to your publish that you simply made a few days in the past? Any sure?

Posted by business jet charters, January 26, 2012

I've read several good stuff here. Definitely price bookmarking for revisiting. I surprise how a lot attempt you put to create this sort of fantastic informative web site.

Posted by Limo Services in Philadelphia, January 27, 2012

I always was interested in this topic and still am, appreciate it for posting .

Posted by corporate car service, January 27, 2012

As soon as I noticed this website I went on reddit to share some of the love with them. "Love the little trade which thou hast learned, and be content therewith." by Marcus Aurelius Antoninus.

Posted by philadelphia photographers, January 27, 2012

Good blog! I truly love how it is easy on my eyes and the data are well written. I am wondering how I could be notified whenever a new post has been made. I've subscribed to your RSS feed which must do the trick! Have a nice day! "You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you." by Eric Hoffer.

Posted by Delaware web design, January 27, 2012

Merely wanna state that this is extremely helpful, Thanks for taking your time to write this.

Posted by 55 communities in Delaware, January 28, 2012

It's in reality a great and useful piece of information. I am satisfied that you shared this helpful information with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.

Posted by delaware beach rentals oceanfront, January 28, 2012

F*ckin' tremendous things here. I am very glad to peer your post. Thanks a lot and i'm taking a look forward to contact you. Will you kindly drop me a e-mail?

Posted by web design Philadelphia, January 29, 2012

I loved as much as you will receive performed proper here. The comic strip is attractive, your authored subject matter stylish. however, you command get got an impatience over that you wish be turning in the following. unwell surely come more beforehand again since precisely the similar just about very regularly within case you protect this hike.

Posted by 55 Communities Delaware, January 30, 2012

I have recently started a site, the info you offer on this website has helped me tremendously. Thanks for all of your time & work. "Everyone is responsible and no one is to blame." by Will Schutz.

Posted by Philadelphia Personal Injury Lawyer, January 31, 2012

Appreciate it for helping out, good info .

Posted by over 55 communities in Delaware, January 31, 2012

Thanks for the sensible critique. Me and my neighbor were just preparing to do a little research about this. We got a grab a book from our area library but I think I learned more from this post. I'm very glad to see such magnificent information being shared freely out there.

Posted by Newark Delaware Houses, February 02, 2012

Definitely, what a magnificent blog and instructive posts, I surely will bookmark your website.All the Best!

Posted by Staubsauger Test, February 04, 2012


Mouth Off:










Remember personal info?